Cross Ties (Swamp Heads, #5) Read online

  “Probably.” I nod, while still trying to process what she’s saying. “Did you see who the killer was?”

  I wonder, because why would Roscoe say and do this? Keep her away, not let her stay or wait till the sheriff arrived. Does Roscoe know who the killer is? Nothing makes sense.

  “He was standing behind my brother, I didn’t see...all I had eyes for was my brother...until that man killed him. Do you think Roscoe got a good look at him? Does he know who it is? Is that why he...oh, God...he does, doesn’t he? Why did he say it was safe for me to come back home when clearly it isn’t? I wanted to contact you but I couldn’t risk it. I wanted to, so many times, if only...” Her breathing picks up and I can see the full-blown panic in her eyes.

  “Calm down, ma chèrie. The turmoil inside your head isn’t helping. We all need to calm down. I’ll contact Roscoe and leave a message. He’ll explain, I’m sure.” I tell her and somehow my gut is telling me differently because why the hell would Roscoe do this?

  She nods and wipes her eyes as she goes rigid, suddenly realizing she’s in my lap. Claudette practically jumps up, snatches her glasses off the couch before putting them back on, and creates a distance between us that I’m not liking one bit.

  “What was that for?” I practically snarl, unable to keep my displeasure and hurt inside because, fuck...I needed to comfort her and keep her close. Believe me, I know how fucked up it is and sounds, but I needed it as much as she did. It felt good, dammit.

  “Don’t call me ma chèrie. I can’t...you can’t,” Earle steps inside the room, preventing her from finishing her sentence.

  He holds out his arms and she fucking goes to him. “Let go.” I snap, making the both of them turn toward me.

  Claudette’s still got her arms around Earle but my brother gently takes her by her shoulders and steps away from her.

  Earle cocks an eyebrow. “You sure?”

  I lift my chin without hesitation. Yeah, I’m damn sure I don’t want him touching her. Claudette’s face washes off all emotion as she starts to nod while stepping toward the door. Fuck. I’m betting she took this the wrong way.

  “Laudy.” I say with a stern voice but she spins around on me.

  “No. Don’t start Laudy me, like we’re back to being besties, how it was all those years ago. Clearly, it’s been Claudette since my ass stumbled back here. You drew the line, and a firmer one now that you’re warning me away from Earle.” She takes a shaky breath, making her voice come out with a hint of defeat. Yet the rising and falling of her chest and the way her upper lip twitches with anger, I can see all the fierce emotions that are still dueling inside her. “But it’s fine, I get it. I’m the one to blame for all of it. I should have never come back.”

  Earle starts to chuckle, the damn fool is making it worse. “Detty...he didn’t warn you, he warned me. He doesn’t want me touching you. And for the record...I don’t think he wants to be besties this time since besties don’t,”

  “Shut the hell up, Earle. And I told you to stop calling her Detty.” I growl. Again.

  “Hey,” Earle says, holding his hands palms up. “I was just trying to help, you know...stating the obvious...besties with benefits is an option since you two are all grown up and all. Penis, pussy, tits, and ass. Options.”

  “Earle.” Laudy and I both snap.

  “You two are no fun.” Earle grumbles.

  For fuck’s sake. I step forward and take Laudy’s hand, pulling her away from Earle and out back to where the rest of my family is. With the threat gone for now, I feel confident enough to know she’s safe for the time being.

  Before I reach them, I turn around and let her know. “Earle was right.” I rub a hand over my beard to think of how to word it more clearly.

  “Christ, Zeke. You two are idiots. I have other things on my mind, like not getting shot at, keeping you safe and all...don’t start talking about penis and pussy options.” She rolls her eyes clearly wanting to escape this conversation but that’s not happening.

  “Dammit, Laudy, I was talking about me warning him away, okay? You and I? We need to work together. Can we just put things behind us and talk this shit through when there’s time after we make sure it’s safe enough that someone isn’t trying to shoot you?” I reach out and grab her chin, making sure our gazes are locked. “I need for you to be safe. I understand this is the reason you left that day. I didn’t get a chance to protect you all those years ago. Please, give me this. We’ll talk when we’re both calm since there’s a lot of shit we don’t know from then, in between, and up till now. Okay?”

  “Okay.” She says in defeat and I don’t fucking know if she’s saying it just to put a pin in this dilemma so she can get out of here, or if she’s really with me on this.

  Frustration fills my veins to know that this is my best friend from sixteen years ago and yet she’s standing here as a grown woman who I’ve not had the pleasure of getting to know fully and openly. Brand new and yet a solid foundation of the beautiful personality I remember that’s rooted deep inside her. With this knowledge I’m also aware I can’t push her to listen to me. But I can definitely warn her so she’s aware I’m not the same boy I was back then either.

  “I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.” I make sure she hears the promise in my voice. “We’re going to be attached to the hip again, Laudy, until this shit is all cleared up. Understood?”

  She rolls her eyes at me. “Sure, Tickles.”

  Tickles. That’s what she used to call me whenever we were joking around. Though the endearment strokes my heart, it also causes me to warn her. “Careful, ma chèrie. This man tickles a whole different way now.”

  Her eyes go wide and shit...is that a flash of desire swirling in there? But just as easily it’s gone, like it was only a fragment of my imagination.

  My ma’s voice rips us out of our staring match. “Zeke, did you clear it up about Roscoe? Was it my boy who sent her here?”

  I reach for my phone. “I think it’s time we found out the right way.”

  I hit the number I promised to only use in case of emergencies, except...the number is out of order.

  “What the heck?” I mutter and dial it again, earning the same result. “It’s out of order.” I say, stunned, because this number should work.

  It’s the one thing he would never give up. I’ve used it once to let him know dad had a minor heart attack two years ago. He called me right back after I left him a message. That’s the only time I used it.

  “I’m sure your fat fingers are hitting the wrong number, lemme try.” Earle says but within seconds he’s wearing the same confused look.

  My siblings and parents now all grab for their phones and check.

  “Something’s not right. He wouldn’t cut us off like that.” My dad says, and he’s right.

  Dammit. I swing my head to Laudy. “Did he give you a number, any way to contact him?”

  She shakes her head. “All I have is the letter he sent along with the envelope that contained the plane ticket.”

  The letter. Fuck. I have one too. Or better yet...I have two. I pulled them out of the trashcan over two weeks ago after I had thrown them away when I was angry about the situation with Laudy. I have it all stashed in a drawer in the kitchen.

  “Okay, first things first. I need a safe place for Laudy. I figure my place isn’t the brightest...Roscoe’s?” I ask and look around at my family to give me suggestions.

  Cyrus steps forward. “How about the tiny house in the back of the gator farm? The whole park is covered with surveillance cams and all of us live pretty close.”

  “Sounds good, son.” My father says, smacking me on the shoulder. “Go pack a bag and some of the stuff you’ll need for a few days. We’ll get your girl over there and we will all get to the bottom of this.”

  He’s right. I lock my gaze with Laudy and my heart tugs. She looks exhausted, scared, and damn well defeated. I want to take her into my arms and promise her it will all be all right, but t
he reality is that I can’t. No one can make such a promise since we can’t look into the future. And fuck...looking back at the past isn’t something to build a future on.

  But I’ll be damned if I will let her down. I gather my strength and hope to fuck I can be strong enough for the two of us because that’s my intention right now. Shoving everything aside, leaving the past behind me, I will now focus on the future. One where my priority is to keep Laudy safe.

  Chapter 06

  ***Laudy***

  Why isn’t there such a thing as a do over? One where you already lived through one choice and go back in time to make another decision to prevent the outcome. Dammit. Someone should really invent a time machine.

  I glance around the room once more. It’s a cozy, yet tiny, living room. It only holds a couch with a small table in front of it, and a TV on the wall. Though it’s bigger than the apartment I shared with my roommate in Amsterdam. Amsterdam...the only reason I picked the Netherlands was because of the tiny windmill Zeke once carved for me out of a piece of wood. When I was at the airport, the first flight out of there with an available seat was Amsterdam.

  Being miles away never felt like I was starting a new life, it was more like I needed to keep on living. To be honest? Even with the threat hanging over my head? I rather be here than back in the Netherlands. Because for me, this is home.

  Being back in my hometown, the swamp...it also makes me feel closer to the family I lost. I didn’t even have the chance to bury, or say goodbye to my parents and siblings, or visit their graves. Sadness hits me and I glance over to where Zeke is fixing us dinner in the kitchen.

  “Hey,” I clear my throat in an effort to get rid of the emotional lump that seems to be stuck there. “Do you...I haven’t...” swallowing again, I tighten my fists and get it all out. “I didn’t get to say goodbye to them. I haven’t...do you know?”

  Zeke lays down the knife he was using to cut the tomatoes and steps closer. “My family saw to it, Laudy. I’ll take you when we have the time and when it’s safe.”

  My gaze slides over his shoulder, now bandaged up. He follows my gaze and shakes his head, reaching his hand out to cup the back of my neck.

  “No, ma chèrie. Don’t. I know exactly what you’re thinking and you have to realize that you already tried to keep me out of it, remember? Leaving me behind without any choice. This time you need to understand that things will go differently. Not because I’m not going to let you run away or try to protect me again by doing so...nope, you’re going to let me do things my way.” He brushes his knuckles along my cheek. “I was so angry when you got back. I couldn’t believe you were alive after all this time and just left me. I thought I meant nothing to you. But now I realize it’s the opposite...by leaving you chose me. This time, ma chèrie...choose us.”

  A tear slides down my cheek. Clearly my emotions on the inside are boiling over. He gets why I left. Knows I couldn’t bear to lose him too and yet in the end I did. Though with what he just said, the way he stepped up at his parents’ house, I owe it to him. I owe it to myself to let him in and handle it.

  “Okay.” I croak.

  He gently takes my glasses off and sets them on the kitchen counter before he surrounds me. His arms drag me against his hard chest as he hugs me close. His bearded cheek is rubbing against my head while he slowly rocks the both of us.

  Even if it’s something we did a million times over when we were kids, teenagers growing up...that horrific day, it was the last thing we did before I left his house to go home. I’ve kept that memory locked in my head for years. Because way back then I almost spilled my feelings toward him. I told him ‘I love you’ so many times but that day I wanted to explain that my love had grown past the point of friendship. Yet I didn’t have the nerve to say it and it’s something I’ve regretted ever since.

  “I’ve missed you so damn much.” Zeke mutters.

  I tighten my arms around him as I whisper back the words we always used when we were kids. “Double that and triple it some more.”

  Zeke’s body shifts and I feel his lower body step away before he releases me. Cupping my face, he gives me a tentative smile. With his thumb he brushes away the tears from my cheeks.

  Reaching for my glasses, he puts them back on and then he surprises the hell out of me when he leans in and quickly brushes his lips against mine. The corner of his mouth twitches when he takes in the surprise that must be clearly written all over my face.

  “Wanna make somethin’?” he asks.

  Babies? My mind offers. And I’m thankful to have stunned myself enough I can’t manage to form words. That’s a mind-fart I didn’t need to have gone past my lips right now, so I just nod instead.

  “Okay, why don’t you grab my backpack? I’ve got my tools in there and I brought some wood to work with in the bag by the door. I’m gonna finish making us some food, then we’ll work together, like the ol’days.” He brushes his knuckles over my cheek and I have to step away because my face flushes with heat when I think about wanting his lips against mine.

  I dash out of the kitchen and head for the door where I see a large bag. Earle and Cyrus brought me over to this tiny house hiding in the back of the huge gator farm. Walking through that place made my nerves settle some. It was already getting dark and the park was closed. Those gators in their habitat and the security system noticeable gives me a safe feeling, I know it’s weird but it does.

  There are different pieces of wood in the bag and I have to smile because he also put a few pieces of bamboo wood in there. I grab one that he’s already cut into a rectangle, knowing I’d want it for a pencil case, and head over to his backpack to grab a pencil. Happy to have something to do with my hands and head. I settle in and start to draw a design I can cut out later.

  “Come on, Laudy, let’s eat first.” Zeke says, ripping me out of my zone and breaking my concentration.

  He’s holding a bowl filled with chicken and rice, and I have to admit, it smells amazing. I rush to put the things on the table and take the bowl he’s holding out. He flips on the TV and sits down next to me with his own bowl in hand. We silently eat and watch some TV and it makes my heart fill with warmth. And my stomach because for real...the food is delicious.

  “Thanks.” I say and place the bowl on the table. “That was really good.”

  “You’re welcome, ma chèrie. Earle can’t cook for shit, it’s a matter of survival for me to cook. Well, he does make a good breakfast, but anything more than eggs and he’s lost. Or make that; the kitchen is lost. Since he can literally burn the place down.” Zeke chuckles and places his bowl next to mine on the table.

  Zeke reaches for me and tugs me against him. I feel like we’ve reverted back to the teenagers we once were, snuggled close on the couch watching TV. Back then we grew up together, without the ‘oh, God, he’s a boy and he’s touching me’. Now I’m aware of every inch of his body and I’m kinda curious what he thinks about this.

  “Relax, Laudy.” Zeke says with a slight chuckle following those words. “We might have grown into adults apart from each other, but we still have the comfort of being old friends rooted deep inside our memories. At least, that’s my two cents.” Another chuckle slips before his voice drops to husky. “The other option is two adults being alone with many other options we could do to pass the time.”

  My ass is off the couch the next instant. “No way. I’m still the same virgin from back then,” I gasp, and realized I screwed up when I see his eyes widen with shock.

  I cover my face with both hands. Dammit, why did I blabber out those words like that? I feel fingers wrapping around my wrist before I’m tugged down onto the couch.

  “Sit, Laudy.” He says and does nothing more but pins his stare on the TV while keeping his arm around my shoulder.

  It takes half a movie for me to somewhat relax again. How’s this even possible? It’s not like he’s a stranger, yet he’s grown into such a hunk that my inside start to quiver by just looking at him.
/>   Space...I need space between us. Flashing up from the couch, I head toward the kitchen. “You want something to drink?”

  I’ve got a grip on the refrigerator door and bend over to see what’s inside when I feel Zeke bending over me. “A beer would be nice.” He says right next to my ear and reaches forward to grab a bottle, disappearing into the living room just as fast.

  Great. First I had all these mixed feelings about coming back here. Then he was all angry and I had more and other feelings. Now he’s turned around so fast where my mind is spinning and wondering what the hell he’s up to.

  I’m still wondering while leaning against the wall, holding my own beer when I hear his voice. “Sit down, Laudy.”

  “Stop ordering me around,” I snap, because for real, he’s been going on forever with the ‘sit, Laudy’, ‘relax, Laudy’, ugh!

  Great. And now he just chuckles. “What’s really bothering you, ma chèrie?”

  I decide to ignore him and drink my beer, snatching the bamboo wood from the table, I plant my ass on the floor and decide to work on that instead of sitting on the couch close to Zeke.

  “Fine. If you’d like to avoid this thing between us, that’s on you. But I’m not making the same mistake. See, I’ve learned from the past and now I know I might have you one day and you might be gone the next, so listen up. I’ve loved you in more ways than just friendship for a while before you left my life. Back then I didn’t want to say anything. I was too scared it would change things between us, but right now? Shit is twisted up as it is so I’m getting it out there. When things are handled, I’d like to take you out on a date.”